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User blog:Chespin the Great/Rapper Signature Attacks
Hey guys! It's Jayhawks4ever! Yesterday in the chat room, we were having a discussion about what signature moves rappers would have. I decided to make a blog out of it, thought it'd be funny. Enjoy! John Lennon: Takes Maxwell's Silver Hammer and gives you a lobotomy Bill O'Reilly: Self-destructs Darth Vader: Freezes you in carbonite Hitler: Shoves you in his shower Abe Lincoln: Has a bucket full of his head and makes it rain Chuck Norris: Roundhouse kick (Duh!) Sarah Palin: Moose Attack Lady Gaga: Dryhump-ality Kim Jong-Il: Bazooka Blast Hulk Hogan: Leg Drop Randy Savage: Elbow Drop Justin Bieber: Forces you to listen to his music (Head Explodes) Beethoven: Flips a piano on you Albert Einstein: Rips a hole in you bigger than the hole in SH's black hole theory was Stephen Hawking: Drops you into the Rancor pit Genghis Khan: The Wrath of Khan (Sticks a sword up your ass) Easter Bunny: Rubs his foot for luck and sticks it right up your vagina Napoleon Dynamite: Force-feeds you tots Napoleon Bonaparte: Shoves your moon boots straight up your poop shoot Ben Franklin: Earthquake Billy Mays: He'll take his Awesome Auger and sow your "Quaker Oats" Vince: Chokes you with a Shamwow Gandalf: Doesn't let you pass Dumbledore: Avade Kedavra William Shakespeare: Bites your thumb Cat in the Hat: Hits you with a best selling book about him coming back Things 1 and 2: Break their foots off in your ass with their feetie pajamas Mr. T: Gets Hannibal, Murdoch and Face to stomp you out Mr. Rogers: Chops you into four black dudes Mr. McFeely: Letter Papercut Attack (He's a pussy, you know?) Christopher Columbus: Sticks a flag up your ass and claims you for Spain Captain Kirk: Shoots you with a phaser Master Chief: Plasma Cannon Leonidas: THIS IS SPARTA! Wright Bros: Drop bombs from plane Mario Bros: Jump on your head Michael Jackson: Moonwalks on your face Elvis: Leaves the building Cleopatra: Teh Asp Attack Marilyn Monroe: Sets you on fire with a Candle in the Wind Steve Jobs: Beach Ball of Death Bill Gates: He pwn's, he smacks Frank Sinatra: Will do anything to get famous Freddie Mercury: Wears women's pants Obama: Calls you stupid Romney: Hits you with a stack of money Doc Brown: Runs over you with a DeLorean at 87 MPH Doctor Who: DALEKS YOUR BALLS Bruce Lee: Taste his slipper shoe Clint Eastwood: Kills you with an aspirin Batman: Crushes your nuts until they're bangers and mash Robin: BAM POW KERSPLAT! Sherlock: Just stands there smoking while Watson hits you with his stick Moses: Mandatory Circumcision (NO BACON) Santa Claus: Puts you on his naughty list Adam: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!! Eve: Has a period (those of you with girlfriends know what happens next) Gandhi: Yoga Fire MLKJ: FATAL HUG Thomas Edison: Hits you with a lightbulb Nikola Tesla: Shocks you with hand lightning Lance Armstrong: Injects himself with steroids to become SUPER LANCE, then runs over you with his bike Babe Ruth: Hits you with a bat (Duh!) Skrillex: Mixes you with the bass and drops you Mozart: Smacks a bitch up with a violin Rasputin: (Leave a suggestion) Stalin: SHOT! Lenin: (Leave a suggestion) Gorbachev: Breaks you through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man (OH, YEAH!) Putin: Spits hot borscht TO BE CONTINUES!!! Oh, also, leave your suggestions for other rappers below! Category:Blog posts